Did you know that withdrawals can make you poop your pants? Yes, yes they can. Just one more reason on a list of reasons why you shouldn't do drugs. Unfortunately I learned this truth by witnessing it first hand one night. If you don't like thinking about poop, or specifically forty year old men pooping themselves, then I suggest you stop reading now. So I'm sitting in the staff office and suddenly I hear, "Help. Help. I'm sh#$&*ng myself." Naturally rather than running as fast as I could to this incident I first had to ask myself, "Did I really just hear that?" Suddenly I heard the call out again and had to realize, "yes, yes I did just hear that." So to my surprise I was responding to my first, and only so far (thank goodness), poopy pants incident.
As I walked to the holding cell I caught the not so pleasant aroma of what I would call a mixture rotten eggs and vomit. A man, the culprit, was standing up to the bars with his head hanging down and said, "I s***t myself." My sarcastic side thought, "Well thanks for telling me because I hadn't noticed the pile of diarrhea you're standing in," but my professional side had to start getting this guy taken care of. The rest of the details aren't so important, so I'll just say that a mop, a biohazard bag, a shower, and a change of clothes later the issue was resolved, for me anyway. During the process we found out that he had been withdrawing from drugs, which is why he wasn't able to control himself, so the incident was somewhat understandable.
So the obvious moral of this story is, "Don't do drugs because you might poop yourself." The other moral is, "If you poop yourself in prison don't yell down the hallway, 'I'm sh#%%ing myself,' or your new nickname amongst the inmates will be 'The Shi##er."
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